The Bigger Picture

“I will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me, take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.”
(Oceans – Hillsong)

Eyes swollen, tear-stained pages of my journal, my Bible underlined, written on and highlighted, scared of the next step and determined to conquer the world at the same time.  I’ve felt this strong feeling for a while, I’m ready, show me where to go from here.

In a season of waiting it can be difficult when all life tends to throw at you is the word no, not yet, later, hold on, etc.  It can be utterly discouraging and emotionally exhausting.  I thought you said I was ready, why are you making me wait? Can you even hear me?

If you ask me, it’s the word that most of us have despised since the moment we first heard it.  That word that disgusts us because we know we are not getting what we really want. As hard as it may seem to fathom, as much as we want to fight against it with all our might, just maybe that “no” is temporary.  A simple no doesn’t always mean forever, it quite possibly may be no for a season, a matter of protection to keep our heart pure, and potentially protect us from a bigger rejection or hurt.  God does know the perfect time to say yes, but as much as I hate to admit it, I still want to sulk into my pillow and scream when I hear the word no from something I really wanted or I think I am ready for.

“Have mercy on my, Lord, for I am in distress. Tears blur my eyes. 
My body and soul are withering away.” Psalm 31:9

In a season of waiting I always tend to think of David.  This was a man who was least considered in his family.  I bet he thought nothing good would come from his existence.  He was despised and rejected for much of his life.  Someone who was chosen last but still kept going. Despite several failed attempts at life, David was still known as a man who was devoted to God.  Much like all of us, we fail from day to day.  It’s when we realize where we fell and turn to our Savior to help us back up.  We can’t do it alone and we don’t have to, even though it may seem like it at times.

Father God, when I feel like giving up, help me put my trust in You, my God, my strength when I am weak, my Comforter when I am scared, my Protector.  Help me keep my eyes on you and know that you are with me in times of trouble and I’m afraid.

“You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope.” Psalm 119:114

Blessings,